Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Of Breeding and Heavy Objects...




Brawn vs. Beauty

Behind every strong man is a stronger woman
by Kurt Bestor


I have a theory about which is really the stronger gender. Now, I haven't tested this like Galileo dropping rotten fruit off the Tower of Pisa or like Einstein contemplating relativity at a lonely train station. But — after observing approximately half the earth's "better looking" population for the last four decades, I think I know what I'm talking about here. In short: women rule the world.

I know, I know. History books (written mostly by bespectacled old male university professors I might add) are full of examples of chieftains, generals and dictators exing their muscles as they conquer another country or two before clocking out for the day. Marvel comics and Warner Brothers Pictures depict testosterone-laden superheroes with bulging biceps righting a capsizing ocean liner, taking on an entire rogue army and deftly swooping up a swooning maiden on the way home from the office.

Even now, as I put pen to paper here, I'm watching a massive Olympic weightlifter hoist barbells the size of a large 747 over his head on his way to a gold medal. But look a little deeper and I think you'll see just who is ruling the roost.

Even the most powerful despot and inuential leader has to come home and, after he kisses little Genghis and tussles Napoleon Junior's hair, gets an unsolicited critique of his job. "I can't believe you invaded that country today, after promising me you would stop after Mesopotamia!" "Isn't that just typical — you get a few extra shekels and you can't help but buy a new chariot!" Houses throughout history and kitchens across all continents have always resonated with the same feminine power. "Before you go downstairs to plan your next pillage and plunder, I need you to take out that stinking garbage."

Yes, as sure as that apple hitting Newton on the head, this theory needs no proving.

In the meantime, we men will continue with the only jobs that are left to us — that of being "breeding stock" and reaching for the soup cans on the highest shelf.

Oops ... hang on a sec ...

Wish I could stay, but I got a jar of pickles that my wife needs opening.

2 comments:

  1. Thanks for sharing this article , really nice blog .
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  2. As the birther and primary caretaker of three spawn, I can only say 'here here!' How do we think men have all the free time to wage war and study history?! Because women are doing the endless task or bearing and raising the young!


    Love to you and yours.

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